What I Thought This Novel Was About—and What It’s Becoming
What I Thought This Novel Was About
I originally set out to write a story highlighting the impact of unhealed trauma and grief on one’s personal life and relationships. These thematic elements are still very much present in the story, but they may not be as focal as I thought they’d be.
I began my story with one main character who has endured all sorts of trials and tribulations, and these continue showing up in the narrative. The plot, then, would include events that test this central player’s resolve to keep going despite grim circumstances and sparse room for hope.
I’ve wanted to create a protagonist who is both familiar with and a stranger to emotional pain. Distraction and numbing of discomfort are his vices. This character would face scenarios that challenge this lifestyle, forcing him to a potential pivot point. But I was working with the idea that a character ought to start “all bad” and then go through a metamorphosis to become “all good” by the end.
To avoid tropes and cliches, I wanted to end my story very dark and inconclusive, scorning mainstream storytelling in the process. In fact, I originally intended to pull the floor out at the end, infusing elements of the horror genre into the climax.
The Assumptions I Brought Into This Draft
The above thematic elements and concepts are still very much alive in my narrative. One thing I assumed was that the protagonist’s internal struggle would be heated by situational conflict and largely unfold in isolation. I wasn’t anticipating how vital other players would be in facilitating the protagonist’s call to action.
I’ve assumed my story would include a relatively small number of characters. And I think this is going to hold, but I’m recognizing that relationship and conflict with others are more potent catalysts for change than less personal circumstances.
I also presumed that third-person made the most sense for this story, and that readers generally hold some contempt for first-person narrative. I don’t know exactly how I garnered this viewpoint, but I’ve held fast to third-person limited POV thus far. I’m getting an inkling it might not be the best fit after all, and I’m toying with the idea of changing to first-person.
As I mentioned about the conclusion, I thought I’d like to be as original as possible and completely reject a conventional “happy ending”. I figured this would make my story more unique and thought-provoking.
Where the Story Started Resisting Me
As the distance to the conclusion in my first draft gets smaller, the ending has been evolving. My protagonist has been revealing his character to me as I go. The ending I first imagined for him was no longer fitting. So, as I’ve gone along, not only has my own main character been contesting my direction, but the final climax has had to change to better match my protagonist’s experience and growth.
Later in the story, the protagonist will find himself trapped in a troubling situation. Scenes were beginning to feel hollow and lifeless because I was writing the main character as a disconnected observer, with sparse interactions with other people. If I wanted to make a story interesting and at all believable, I would need to create more interaction with people in his environment. Even if my character tends to keep to himself, eventually, connections will be made, and relationships will form.
The Questions the Novel Keeps Asking Instead
One inquiry that keeps coming up is about my protagonist: Who is he? I tried to create something of a character profile before beginning to write. But there was only so much detail I felt comfortable with at that time. As the story progresses, the main character encounters a variety of conflicts, people, and changes that warrant response and reveal more of who he is at heart. It might seem strange, but I’ve let the protagonist develop organically, letting what reaction feels right at the time come out. This approach could surely bite me in the butt later when I start editing, but I’m sticking with it for now.
A thematic shift has also arisen during the writing process. My original intent of creating problems and solutions primarily for the protagonist has been broadened to capture some societal issues as well. So, the question here is, how do these issues fit into the story without detracting from the main plot?
What This Novel Is Becoming
As I mentioned, the novel demands more characters. Even if they play minor parts and aren’t present for the story’s entirety, playing off relationships is key to creating both friction and connection.
I think the story is ultimately becoming more hopeful than I had imagined. I’m realizing I don’t have to cling to an extreme to make a good story. It doesn’t have to end with rainbows and unicorns, just like it doesn’t have to end with doom and despair.
Characters are becoming more nuanced, more life-like. It was easy to assume at first that characters ought to be either good or bad, but that’s not how people are. We all have strengths and weaknesses. I’m enjoying revealing both the light and dark within characters.
My protagonist’s personality is becoming more subdued than I planned. He’s more introspective and less animated. I am continually in the process of shaping him and letting the story expose his essence, but I think this evolution is fitting for the overall plot and theme.
Why Letting the Story Change Feels Risky
Allowing the scope of my theme and character development to widen has felt reckless and almost irresponsible at times. As a brand-new author, I can get preoccupied with the “rules” of writing a novel. It’s scary to go off the main trail even when it feels like the right move.
I also worry that my story will lack cohesion when it’s all said and done. Will I be able to make sense of this first draft? Or will it just look like multiple stories haphazardly stitched together?
Expanding the theme is pushing me into waters in which I feel poorly equipped to navigate. I don’t want to get cocky and provide a perspective on something I don’t understand well myself. Knowing when to push the threshold and when to pump the brakes has been a challenge.
What I’m Learning About Trusting the Work
Right now, I have to remind myself I’m in a simple process of traversing from A to B. The uncertainty of story cohesion, character development, and thematic relevance can be harrowing. But I can always make revisions and edits later—in fact, I’d be insane not to. I’m writing with my intuition, giving my heart more stage time than my brain.
You know what? I am enjoying writing from the heart. The analytical and logical parts of me will have plenty of opportunity to weigh in later on. At present, I feel similar to what (I imagine) tight-rope walking across a chasm feels like. I’ve got to keep taking the next step; the only goal is to get to the other side (without plummeting to an untimely death).
Implementing 30 minutes of writing daily is helping me take small but consistent steps. With so little time, I’m forced to quiet my penchant for overthinking. Keep looking forward, and don’t look down. Write the next sentence, and fear not the imperfections.
This is my mission: baby steps. If it’s good enough for Bob, it’s good enough for me.
